Desperation

I finally understand how most moms feel during the last month of pregnancy - absolute desperation to get this baby out. I love him, don't get me wrong, and I really have loved the journey of pregnancy, but these last few weeks have been the most uncomfortable by far. Here's probably the last picture I'll post of my pregnant self - 39 weeks (and then some). I feel like I look pretty cranky in this photo... I can't hide it anymore, people!

I think I would be able to handle it all - the pain, the discomfort, the cramping - if I could just sleep at night. I know, I know - when the baby comes, I'll be pretty sleep deprived as it is. However, just knowing that I could fall asleep if I wanted to makes me long for those days. Recently, when I lay down at night, no matter how tired I am, I just cannot fall asleep! My legs get really restless, my hips hurt from the weight of the baby, I can't lay on my back or find any comfortable position to sleep in, and for some reason I begin thinking of about 1,000 things I need to accomplish right away. When I do drift off, I wake up 2 or 3 hours later needing to use the restroom and then have to go through the whole cycle all over again! There have been more nights than I'd like to admit where I have gotten absolutely zero sleep whatsoever. I still exercise each day and try to limit my naps so I get extra tired at night, but even then, sleep eludes me. [Sigh.] The thing is, pre-pregnancy, I never had a single problem going to sleep at night. Especially in the early months of this pregnancy - I could nap and sleep a full night because I felt tired all the time. These days, I dread getting into bed because I anticipate the struggle it will be to drift off. Oh, well. It's all worth it in the end, right? :) 

In the meantime, I'm trying every old wive's tale to induce labor known to mankind. Raspberry leaf tea, primrose oil, walking (and walking and walking), spicy foods, eggplant, you name it. Obviously hasn't worked yet. I'm keeping my hopes up, though!  My doctor told me that we would need to induce on September 26th if I don't go into labor naturally. I wanted to cry. Just the thought of going that much longer makes me want to perform my own C-section. I know I'm not even past my due date, so I shouldn't be complaining like this, but it seems as though all my girlfriends' babies have made early arrivals, so that makes me more anxious to anticipate the same thing. Silly, I know. Maybe this little guy just wants to be fashionably late!

Alright, that's my rant for now. I promise I'm actually doing really well, all things considered! No swelling, barely noticeable Braxton Hicks contractions, no more work (woo hoo!)... I have every reason to be happy. :) I've made all kinds of delicious freezer meals, organized the baby's crib and clothing drawer, gotten the hospital bag packed, and taken notes on all the tips and tricks from my baby books. It's really been quite fun. Any day now!

PS: This made me laugh. A lot. Hooray for college football season!!